BE. Inspiring :)

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Upload MP3 and download MP3 using free MP3 hosting from Tindeck. I've been sitting with an open laptop in front of me for almost an hour. I raced home from Crossfit feeling like today would be my hit-it-out-of-the-park day for creativity. My husband had already put our son to bed, and I raced over to the piano and started plunking out some new chords and lyrics. After 3 song attempts, I surrendered to dinner. Then, after dinner, I opened my laptop- flushed with enthusiasm to share ideas, inspire and be inspired, and begin introducing you all to some of the things that have been going on in my head and heart, as I journey through life as a full-time mom and business woman, trying to get fit, write two books, constantly problem solve, maintain friendships, keep my marriage strong and spicy, and build a kick-ass life. But, nada. I. Got. Nothing.

So, why am I sharing nothing with you? Because in the nothingness there is something. There's inspiration. So often we conceptualize inspiration and motivation as being a feeling; something that finds us, that's worth waiting for, that seeks us out in its own perfect time in its own thrilling way. But it's not true. Sure, all of us experience the life-altering, ground-breaking exceptions to the rule, but most of the time, when we wait for inspiration, we end up waiting a long time. We end up waiting forever- knowing all along that a story is inside of us, waiting- BEGGING- to be told, but because inspiration never found us, our story never finds a way out. I can't tell you the number of times I've been told by friends and people that have crossed my paths that they're not "ready" for something. They're not "ready" to commit to working out. They're not "ready" to leave their toxic relationship. They're not "ready" to leave their comfortable corner office to pursue their true passion. Some of these people have epiphanies, and sure enough, become ready. But most often, they never do. They end up never working out, or only working out on the rare occasions that they're motivated. They stay with their loser lover who doesn't fulfill any of their needs. They live in dead-end jobs, sometimes making GREAT money, but only ever existing, and never really living. 

We are not victims of our circumstances. We are victims of our choices. We choose to let moments, days, weeks, YEARS go by when we make decisions that we know will not ultimately lead us to what we want. Maybe inaction doesn't ever lead us to tragedy, either. But worse, it leads us to indifference. Because we believe that we're on fate's time clock, we ultimately assume that our fate forgot us, or worse- that the special life we once believed was destined for us, we are not worthy of, and don't deserve. Maybe we just aren't special after all, if success doesn't come looking for us. Any trace of inspiration or hope we had is swallowed by that possibility, and in our eyes, probability, that maybe we're just. not. that. special. 

Inspiration is not a gift. It is a mission. It is no one's duty- not God, or fate, or your spouse, or your family or friends- to inspire you. It's YOUR job. This makes us feel icky inside, because inspiration feels like it should be like love- easy to fall into. When it's not easy, when it's something we have to go searching for, and then reel in with both hands, we feel like it's inauthentic. We feel like anything that is based on the forced inspiration we've acquired couldn't possibly make the difference in our lives, or in the lives of others. 

We were all born for a reason. Even the most tragic circumstances have tiny glimmers of possibility that are waiting to be nurtured. The cycle of "Inspiration Action" must begin with a cause if you expect to see an effect. It will feel SUPER uncomfortable, and you will question every move you make, because it will feel unnatural to seek inspiration, rather than experiencing it organically. But seek it you must:

I don't care what you do, with this one exception: If you want to be inspired to change, to grow, to do, to achieve, you must follow this rule: STOP DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND DO SOMETHING ELSE. Fine print to this main rule: You're allowed to mess up. You're allowed to misjudge. You're allowed to sound crazy. You're allowed to make a stupid decision. You're allowed to say something rude. You're allowed to say no. You're allowed to say yes. Basically, the only thing you're not allowed to do is what you're currently doing. Because if I know you (and I do), you're waiting. You might be plotting or planning, justifying that you're "preparing yourself" for a big action. But you're lying- you're just procrastinating awesomeness in exchange for preparation that you probably won't even use because the preparation will never feel like it's enough, and will never feel like it's done. You've got to stop bunny-hopping, and start leaping. 

I also know this: I don't know what will happen when you do something else. Nobody does. I'm learning these lessons myself. On any other day, I would sit with an open computer for an hour, and close it when inspiration didn't hit, allowing myself an "off" day to recalibrate, and vowing to try again tomorrow. The problem is, tomorrow never comes. Whenever you promise your dream a tomorrow, you are telling yourself you are not worthy of action today. You are telling yourself, and whatever higher power your believe in, that your dream is not a priority. 

I believe the energy of the Universe, and love, and physics, and spirituality, responds to effort- not results. The moment you shake up your life and you tell yourself and everyone else through your actions (not just your words) that you're ready and deserving of something new, the world will conspire to make it happen. But talk is cheap. You can't convince anyone (even yourself) that you're deserving of a make-a-movie-about-it kind of life if you yourself aren't willing to invest a late night/early morning of hard work, an opportunity to take a risk, or an honest and "crazy" truth told. 

Be inspiring. Emphasis on the BE. Being inspiring, fascinating, successful, accomplished, ingenius- those aren't things anyone is born with, or things that anyone has a monopoly on. Every single person on this earth has the opportunity to inspire someone. By waiting for inspiration, as if it's only a gift you can be given, you not only rob yourself of the opportunity to live the life of your dreams, you steal from everyone else you touch, the gifts that your dream life would have inevitably bestowed upon them. You have a purpose- and you may not have the inspiration to know which way that purpose is leading, right now, but you have the ability to choose to take action. And as I said, when you do- though I can't promise how or when- I can say unequivocally, a difference will be made-I n your life, in the lives of others, and, ultimately, if you work hard enough, and you're brave enough to believe you deserve it, a change WILL be made in the world, by you. Because of YOU- and not some lucky hand that was doled out to you by fate.  Go be. Go do. And before you know it, inspiration will be pouring in and out of you, without any effort at all.